The night that im so alone and helpless

There's spark between me and him??
Hell no. that's so ridiculous!!
I wish there is but it seems like
hoping too much;
dreaming too much;
I am feeling so down right at this moment
how i wish there's a shoulder for me to lean on
how i wish someone could have wipe my tears off.
My tears cant stop flowing like the pipe water
I just wish that I am stronger enough to hide my sadness
I couldnt tell u that I really like U
I like u until the stage that im so afraid that i might get hurt
when I know I cant even own u one day.
Please just let me know what should i do.
I am seriously feeling so hard right now.
I try not to care,not to know so much,try to avoid,try to make everything back to basic
but it seems like I am going to hurt myself again.
I've been thinking all this shit too much.
It is a very tiring day for me today
I seems like so moody and feeling so out of control today
U said that I would never be alone
tell u whatever is in me when im down
U said that ur here
but...
now I am here all on my own